I failed A LOT in 2017. I felt rejected from opportunities simply because of my personality. I felt left out from the “happy” things a “normal” 24 year old girl should be experiencing. I was so, so lonely. I didn’t have any confidence in myself or what I bring to the table. I felt like God forgot about me and had set me aside. I was all those things and really didn’t know why.
I called out to God to make me happy. I pleaded with God that He would make me less awkward and weird in hopes that my friends would like me more. I prayed that God would give me the thigh gap that the girl on Instagram with the bikini had. I asked that He would give me the courage to add blonde highlights to my hair because boys say blondes are better. I CUT MY OWN HAIR to try and be like a girl in a movie (one of the dumbest decisions I’ve ever made). I literally cried myself to sleep in prayer that God would make me better so that someone would want to love me – I am so sad for myself for even thinking all that.
Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst changed my life. I’ve read and re-read this book and it pointed out every lie that I was living. It tackles big issues in the hearts of women from feeling left out to feeling rejected and lonely and points your heart to who God says you are. Every chapter softened my heart and helped me give myself grace. Lysa’s personal experiences definitely paralleled some of the events that happened in my life and my heart broke all over again when I read her personal defeats and heartbreaks.
One of my favorite quotes from the book is “Maybe your situation has more to do with you being prepared than you being overlooked. There is something wonderfully sacred that happens when a girl chooses to look past being set aside to see God’s call for her is to be set apart.” All those pains of rejection and loneliness that I was feeling have only been God preparing me for my future. I missed out on jobs because I know God has bigger plans. I lost love because I know God needs my focus more than anyone else. My body is healthy and no thigh gap could ever make me want to relive the hell I went through in a Crohn’s flare.
God’s ultimate plan is well worth the uncertainty.
No matter what season of your life you’re in – this book will absolutely bring peace to your heart.